What to do when you don't know what to do.
Have you ever gotten stuck in the mental assault of trying to figure out what to do?
Trying to find the answer. Trying to make a decision. Basically, hamster-wheeling your mind to no end.
It’s exhausting.
Recently I met up with a friend for coffee and she was in that space. She was trying to decide whether she should go live in another city for a little while or stay in LA. She was weighing out the pros and cons. Making those lists. Imagining her life in both places but uncertain which one would be best now.
I completely understand and resonate with her 100%. I’ve been in that head space so many times. Should I stay in this relationship or let it go? Should I stay in my part-time job or not? Should I start my own business or keep it as a hobby? Should I rent or buy a house?
The list go on and on.
Here’s what I told her to do. It’s what I do when I can’t figure out what to do:
1. Create Mental White Space
This one isn’t easy. It’s about letting go of being attached to finding a solution.
When we focus on finding the solution, it becomes a ‘to do’—something that must get done. Which means we are not only in our masculine energy, but trapped in our mind.
The thing is, the answer we are looking for is never going to come out of that hamster-wheel mindset. Inspired, creative solutions do not come in on the mental level. They come in through Source – often from inside of our bodies. Our gut. (Click to tweet!)
Often the creative solution isn’t one we’ve even considered. It’s the third option that never entered our mind. It’s a little more gray instead of white or black and can be so much more loving.
Being in the masculine mind-set of solving the problem keeps the inspired answer from showing up. It blocks it.
It’s like the creative solution is trapped in a lake under a thick sheet of ice. It’s trying to come up and out, but there’s no room. There’s no free path or space for it to crack through.
So, you MUST create mental white space. Which leads me to number 2.
2. Take Dominion of Your Thoughts
Every thought that occurs in the mind, we can have a say over. It doesn’t feel like it. But, it’s true.
Taking dominion of our consciousness is like working a muscle. If you want to see definition in your arms, you’d start working your biceps and triceps. The same is true for taking ownership of what’s happening in our mental house.
Many of us are out of practice. We go through our days just letting our thoughts control us. They are in the driver’s seat co-creating the world around us.
Here’s a great way to start practicing taking dominion of your thoughts:
Any time you become aware that you are in the hamster-wheel, shift your thinking to something that makes you happy.
Take a moment today to create a vision of something you want. It doesn’t have to be related to the thing you are trying to solve. It can be anything.
Maybe it’s seeing yourself in a happy, healthy partnership. Maybe it’s seeing your group program full and the participants thriving. Maybe it’s traveling to an exotic destination with your besties or cozying up in your warm bed inside your house. The house you own.
The point here is to let yourself get lost in the delicious fantasy. To breathe life into what’s to come.
So, every time you find yourself in the hamster wheel, pause and shift your thinking to the vision you created. It’s like a little pact. Everything I think of x, I’ll shift to y. And, with practice this will become second nature.
It will not only get you out of your masculine mindset, but will put a smile on your face as you do it.
3. Get Present
Sometimes the envisioning process I shared above doesn’t work for me because the problem solving thoughts are so strong. When that occurs, I up my game and get out of my head. I get present in the moment—outside of my mind.
I put myself into an activity that causes me to fully focus out there (aka what’s in front of me). Things like taking a dance class, volunteering, learning something new, going for a hike, etc. Something that’s going to completely interrupt the hamster-wheel in it’s tracks.
This will also create that mental white space and before you know it, you’ll be sitting in the chair at your hair dresser and the most perfect solution will appear.
Try it and let me know how it goes.
Thank you so much for reading this week’s post. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.
Love,
Amber