I was talking with a woman recently about her relationship with money. She shared how stressful and painful it was for her—how she never felt like money was available. And because she didn’t have it, she couldn’t do the things she wanted.
“Has there ever been a time when you felt good about money,” I asked. “No,” was her response. She went on to say, “I guess I just don’t believe I’m capable of having it. Maybe I feel like I don’t deserve it.” Then she said, “My brother doesn’t feel this way. He didn’t learn these limiting beliefs…what’s wrong with ME?”
I wanted to jump through the phone, hug her, shake her and tell her nothing is wrong with you.
Women and girls receive very different messaging about their worth and value in the world, than what men and boys receive. In general, boys are taught to go out and play, wrestle, speak your voice, take risks, be strong, etc. Girls are taught to stay small, quiet, be pretty, speak when asked, please others, don’t risk, etc.
Girls learn their value comes from their beauty. Boys learn it comes from their ability to provide. Thus, men and women have very different relationships with money…confidence, ambition, self-worth, etc.
And, this is one of the many reasons I’m so passionate about supporting women in unlinking the idea that their value is based in their looks. It sounds strange to say…but, if you want a different relationship with money, having a different relationship with your body is a place to start.
That’s where I began. I first had to heal the misunderstanding that I’d be worth more if I was thinner and more attractive. That mindset blocked me from seeing the beauty of my REAL body—the one I have today. Not the fantasy version I imagined or was told I should have by society.
I had to learn my body wasn’t an object. That there was way more to me than just the size of my clothes, number on the scale, shape of my breasts, firmness of my skin…
Only when I experienced this did my world expand. Through appreciating my body, I found my voice—my confidence, my ability to take risks, to recognize I was smart.
Women…you’re SMART! So smart. This was an epiphany for me that led me to see how capable and resourceful I was. And that’s when my relationship with money changed.
This expansion I speak of is available to you. How you start is simple: Slow down and be with your body. Get to know “her”.
If you’d like more support in this inquiry, our (limited time) 6-Part Interview Series will serve you. Click here to receive it.