Ever Feel Like You Don't Deserve "It"
Valentine’s Day is never a big deal in my house. Vince and I are pretty chill on this day. In fact, he was out of the country, so I definitely didn’t put energy into it this year. Imagine my surprise when I came home to find…
Six dozen roses!
Breathless, with tears streaming down my face, my first thought wasn’t how lucky I am or how grateful. Nope. My first thought was, “I didn’t do anything to deserve this.” As if love were a commodity or something that must be worked for and earned.
Clearly I had a misunderstanding about love and the way it works running in my mind! On some level, I know love isn’t about tit for tat–where you give “this” much, and I match you. I know this, and, yet, a part of me didn’t.
I imagine I’m not the only person who has felt this way at times, which is why I’m sharing this with you. If you’ve ever thought, “I didn’t do anything to deserve this,” I invite you to pay particular attention to what I’m about to say next…
Instead of diving deeper into why I thought I didn’t deserve it, and looking for the memory that created this response or how I could “fix” myself, I stopped. I decided to experiment. Could I simply receive this loving gesture in full? Was I willing to allow myself to take in the Goodness and Beauty? Was I willing to let Love in?
Yes. With each breath, I slowed down. I chose to breathe in the loving and breathe out the loving. I slowed down even more. In my mind, I consciously looked at myself through Vince’s eyes and saw what he saw. I saw an incredible woman, with a bright smile and huge heart. She was carefree, joyous and so loving.
That woman was me. That woman is me. And all my doubt, fear and misunderstandings dissolved.
I touched that place inside where I know the truth: I am Love.
This is true for you too. When you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by the Goodness—pause—and ask yourself if you are willing to slow down and receive it? Are you willing to let it in? In truth, if it’s in your present moment, it is a reflection of YOU.
Love isn’t created by what we do. What we do is an extension of the Love we are. It’s our essence, our being. There’s a fantastic book I’ve read and reread called, Lovability by Dr. Robert Holden. I highly recommend it, especially if you find yourself caught up in the misbelief that you are unlovable.
I want to close with a photo of the roses. These are now in front of you. Will you receive their beauty as a reflection of your own?
Wishing you an experience of the love you are,
Amber