In-Between Time
The space in-between the holiday and New Year is sacred. We’re in the process of closing 2017, but haven’t yet welcomed 2018. This is a time of transition. And every transition in our life (high school to college, college to the “real world”, apartment to house, single to married, pregnancy to birth, one job to the next) serves a purpose.
All transitions bring ripe opportunity if we stay awake to them. New and different thoughts/ideas/judgments surface, that never have before, allowing us to use them for our growth and learning.
So many people focus on the clean slate of 2018 and hone in on what they want for the next year. I’m all for that. I love dreaming big. But, the part that many people skip over is a full review—including the not-so-good feelings—about 2017.
What disappointments occurred this year?
What fear(s) got in the way?
Is there any sadness or loneliness coming forward about completing this year or starting the next?
2017 certainly didn’t go according to my plan. Was it an amazing year? Absolutely. We completed the renovation of our house. Vince made a full recovery from his surgeries at the start of the year. I got engaged. I led a series of interviews in my business I thoroughly enjoyed. I made more money than I did last year. All wonderful and beautiful things.
And, I don’t want to discount or gloss over my feelings of disappointment and sadness. I didn’t reach my health intentions or make my financial goal. I didn’t honor my daily spiritual practice. I have mixed feelings about being a bride (I’ll be sharing more about this later), and I have concerns about the leadership in our country.
This is the truth. And letting myself feel every part of the joy and the discouragement is important. Otherwise, I’ll judge myself as a failure and build my 2018 intentions on a foundation of self-defeating, limiting beliefs.
The real healing opportunity is to love all parts of ourselves, including the ones that have concerns and feel disappointed and sad. Maybe they are highlighting a new idea of success—one that includes more process and less outcome. Maybe they are highlighting a new way to set goals and intentions for the new year. Maybe they are even offering a way to bring more compassion to ourselves and others.
Before you set sail for the new world of 2018, I highly encourage five things:
ONE: Go back through your entire year (Jan-Dec 2017) and list at least ten meaningful successes. (Note: The successes may include seemingly small things, like “I saw my family through the eyes of loving more than ever,” or, “I got more comfortable saying no.” My invitation is to include both internal and external successes.)
TWO: Ask yourself if you have any feelings of disappointment about your year. Then, write those feelings out (uncensored) in your journal. It’s really good to release them.
THREE: Forgive yourself for any judgments you may be holding against yourself: I forgive myself for judging myself as not enough. I forgive myself for judging myself as a failure. I forgive myself for judging myself as behind in my work (or life). Etc.
FOUR: Offer yourself compassion: Look at yourself, your family, our world, through the eyes of loving, place your hand on your heart and ask what Love has to say. Then let love speak. (Note: Remind yourself that you’re human—a work in progress—and you are doing your very best. What could be better than your best?)
FIVE: Appreciate yourself for showing up for this healing process and continue moving forward in breathing life into your 2018.
These next few days, be mindful of the foundation you’re building your dreams upon.
And, know, I’m sending so much love and joy ahead for the most miraculous year yet!
With Fierce Loving,
Amber