On Leading Groups…
Last weekend I led a full-day workshop for coaches at the CFJ Coaching Success School. The group was engaged, curious, and asked thoughtful questions—including a few about leading groups.
One that stood out was about my “agenda-free” approach.
In short: I came in empty. No set outline. No fixed plan. Just open-hearted presence, trusting the moment would show us where to go.
That's not how I used to do things.
When I first started leading groups I planned everything down to the minute. I believed the value was in the material presented—the more I gave, the more people would benefit.
Spoiler: not so much.
More content can actually overwhelm the room. People glaze over and tune out.
Once I saw that happening, I pruned the material to focus on one or two main takeaways, while making more space for connection and coaching. I still preferred a timed blueprint of the day, but I had more flexibility to go with what was present.
Next came letting go of the timed blueprint in exchange for some bullet points. And now? I often show up empty and see what wants to be “born” from there.
That's been my journey. I'm not saying it should be yours—because there is no right way. No finish line here. No badge for having the loosest plan—or the tightest. The goal isn't to be schedule-free or rigidly scripted. It's to connect and serve in a way that's aligned for you.
The key to content and group facilitation is knowing yourself—and your audience.
If you're newer to leading, structure might be exactly what you need. Zoom tech, sound logistics, breakout rooms, and dozens of faces staring back can feel like a lot to hold. Having a clear outline can ground you. It gives you something to lean on when your insecure thoughts or nerves kick up.
So:
Where are you in your evolution as a coach?
What do you value—content, space, or both?
What will help you best serve the room?
Your answers will inform your flow.
This is the inner game of group facilitation—learning to stretch and trust yourself as you go, even when your mind says otherwise.
At CFJ, during a break, my mind whispered:
You've done this better before.
You're not having the same impact as last year.
You should've prepared more.
That voice? Oh, I know it well. It shows up almost every time I speak. The difference now is, I don't engage with it. I let it be, and it dissolves—like static from a radio fading back into silence.
Our minds love to offer fear-based thoughts. That's their job. But we don't have to get caught up in their content.
The more we feed those thoughts, the stronger the habit becomes. The less we engage, the quieter they get.
Eventually, those thoughts feel more like a toddler babbling nonsense than truth we need to follow.
If there's something to learn or improve upon, that will come through wisdom—not fear. That's where real clarity lives.
Learning to discern between the two—wisdom vs. survival thinking—is one of the most important skills we can develop as coaches. It doesn't come overnight. But it does come—through your willingness to be curious and pay attention.
And the more we trust ourselves, the more freedom we create—to play, to explore, to enjoy. That energy tends to ripple out into the room, too.
A Few Practical Tips for Leading Group Events
Follow a structure that supports you. Especially when you're starting out, an outline can help settle your nerves and keep you grounded. You honoring what you need helps you serve—which is the whole point.
Don't overstuff the day. Less content often leads to more impact. Leave space for questions, reflection, coaching, and real-time connection.
Expect nerves. Nerves are just sensations in your body. They don't mean anything. You can feel wobbly and still show up powerfully. You might even use that energy to connect more deeply with your audience.
Trust that you'll learn what you need. You don't need to monitor yourself as you go. The more present you are, the more connected you'll feel. And if there's learning to gather, it'll be waiting for you afterward—not from judgment, but from honest reflection.
There's no one-size-fits-all approach. There's only your way—and the ongoing discovery of it.
With loving,
Amber
