In the world of coaching we hear a lot about serving—how it’s best to serve our clients. I just gave a talk on the difference between serving and pleasing—and I’m still receiving messages about how impactful it was for participants.

Most people know that serving translates to focusing on the client or customer—considering them first, and generously sharing something that will help them transform their lives.

This is true. I’m all for serving. It’s the number one reason for my business success. And, I have found there’s a profound misunderstanding about this. In general women (and some men) naturally think of others first. They take care of the kids, spouse, house, dog, job, etc. before they consider themselves. They think this is serving. I would challenge that.

We can’t fully serve someone else until we are serving ourselves.

Here’s what I mean—I warn you, this is a graphic image. If your left arm was deeply cut and gushing blood, and the blood bank expressed they needed blood, would you take out your right arm and let them put a needle in it? I hope not. It seems absurd, right? And, yet, this is what many people do, especially in their businesses.

If you aren’t making enough money to pay your bills, don’t offer your services for free. That’s not serving. What would really serve is for you to hold for your fee so that you can pay your bills and then show up and bring your all to your client.

If you’re filling your calendar with all the things you’ve heard you’re supposed to do to grow your business, but you aren’t looking at which actions create the biggest financial wins in your bank account, you are missing out. This is not serving.

If you’re working 18 hour days, thinking you’ll rest or play after you hit a certain goal, you are sabotaging your success.

Serving yourself is a requirement. The more you take care of you, the more you can take care of others. Say no more often and risk disappointing someone—so you don’t disappoint yourself. Say yes to getting uncomfortable. The more you do, the easier it will be and the more success you’ll experience.

If what I’m sharing is resonating, I’ve created an email list for coaches (and service-based professionals) where I’ll be talking about how to serve and not please, how/where to get clients, how to stand for your fees, value your services, and so much more.

If you’d like to be a part of this community, you can sign up here.

I can’t wait to continue the conversation there!

With Fierce Loving,
Amber

PS: I’ll be teaching more about this subject of true serving in CFJ’s Coaching Success School. I can’t wait to support other coaches in LIVING this principle. Talk about life changing!