What Makes a Good Life?
A good life. What does that look like? What does it mean? I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately—and I have come to the conclusion that it depends on which part of us is answering the question. Our ego or our True Self.
Recently I attended a dear friend’s book launch. I couldn’t be more proud of her and inspired by her. The evening was beautiful—filled with so much love, meaning and joy. Over the years I’ve watched her say yes to a deep calling in her heart to end needless suffering through meditation. I’ve seen her start from humble beginnings of just a few people in her class, to years later having a room full of devoted fans at her book launch (that landed in the #7 position of all books on Amazon). Amazing.
And, whenever I attend events like this, I often walk away questioning whether I’m doing enough. Should I be sharing more? Should I be writing a book? Speaking more? Am I playing a big enough game? Am I making a big enough difference?
My ego gets activated and for a number of days I battle inside myself. I share more on social media—even though I have mixed feelings about that. I don’t want to participate in an activity that invites people to spend more time on their phones instead of their real lives. I consider a focus for a book—even chapter layouts. I look at how I could be a bigger voice in the world.
And while all of this chaotic thinking is going on in my mind, I’m aware of the whispers of my heart. Do these ideas bring me joy and enthusiasm? Do they inspire me?
The answer is no. Not right now. And that’s not easy for my ego to accept. But it is important that I do; otherwise my suffering continues.
I remind myself of the difference I’m already making—of what’s most important to me today. The deep call in my heart right now is to love my family fiercely—to integrate Parker into our home with as much ease as possible. To serve my incredible clients and the students at Carolyn Freyer-Jones’ Coaching School. To volunteer my time making life a little better for the dogs at Best Friends Lifesaving Center. And, most importantly, to enjoy my life.
I breathe a sigh of relief and peace. And just like that, I’m returned to my center. I remember this is enough. Tomorrow I may receive a different whisper from my heart, and if that’s the case, I’ll answer the call. I trust Life will let me know when it’s time for more. Until then, I will keep doing what brings me joy.
The world we live in is highly goal-oriented and pulls us toward more/bigger/better. In my experience when I respond to the call of my ego, it’s painful. I end up trying to force something into existence, rather than co-create in harmony.
Pay attention to what you’re saying yes to and why. If it’s coming from a should or a hope it that will bring you happiness in the future, you may want to slow down and reconsider. Not everyone is meant to be Oprah or Lin Manuel Miranda. Maybe the calling in your heart is to be the best teacher to your third grade class. Maybe it’s to be the most attentive father you can be to your daughter. It may be to tend to your rose garden or master the perfect cup of coffee. Whatever it may be, it’s beautiful and worthy.
We each get to be our unique selves and honor our gifts, inspirations and values. The more we do this, the richer our world will be. Thank goodness for that!
With Fierce Loving,
Amber