Comparison has been on my mind a lot lately. I gave a talk on the subject at a conference last week, and it was powerful. Participants left feeling inspired to share their unique gifts and talents, rather than try to be like someone else’s gifts and talents.
Whenever I look out in my world and start comparing myself to others, I notice the same pattern occur: Immediately I feel inadequate, like I don’t measure up.
Some part of me then buys into the idea that I would measure up if I had what “they” have—more followers, bigger email list, more money, more notoriety, more travel, her body, her skin, her attitude, etc.
That same part of me then gets busy making plans, putting together a list of actions I should take right now to remedy the situation. Because, see, if I have the thing “they” have, then, I’ll feel adequate again. Then, I’ll be good enough. Then, I can breathe easy.
Yet, those actions never work because I created them in a frantic, less than state. I didn’t stop to consider if those steps fit into my daily life? Did I have room for them on my “to do” list? Did I even want to do them?
More often than not, the answer is no. And that’s when I realize—opps I did it again! (cue Britney Spears) I let my not-enoughness get ahead of me and call the shots.
I then slow down and remind myself of my values; thus reconnecting to my way. My version of success is not less than because it looks different. Mine is mine…and theirs is theirs.
And, guess what? Suddenly I can breathe again.
This was positively reinforced when I listened to the podcast, Making Oprah. If you haven’t taken in this three-part series, you must. In it Oprah shares about breaking into the talk show industry, and how she and her team intentionally focused on their mission. They didn’t look out in the tv world to see what other shows were doing, they stayed in their lane and did them. They created shows they wanted to see. They put together programs that were meaningful to them and their audience. And Life took care of the rest.
The more we do us, the better we are. So my question is, how good are you at doing you?
Do you take a stand for what brings you joy and pleasure? Do you give yourself permission to do those things often? Do you even know what makes your Soul light up?
That’s where you begin.
What do you love to do? How do you want to spend your time? Who do you want to serve? How do you want to share your love?
Your answers to these questions are sacred. The more you slow down, attune, and make space to share your uniqueness, the more you’ll value you. The more you’ll like you. And the easier it will be to do you.
Tell me in the comments below, what’s one of your unique gifts and why?
Let’s celebrate how amazing you are together.
With Fierce Loving,
Andrea de Lange says
I am strong and resilient. These gifts allow me to motivate and give hope to others who have or had a life threatening illness. I feel like living a quality life is a way of showing others they can survive and thrive.
Dear Andrea: Absolutely. You ARE strong and resilient…and such an inspiration to others. I support you in being the way shower you are. Love, A
Love this, Amber! 🙂 I loved that podcast series, too. The biggest aha most of us can have is that we are all trying to figure it out. None of us really has it nailed down. And, THAT, is the coolest discovery ever – it’s always about the journey, the process, and rarely the end result. As soon as we can realize that we are all in the midst of unique journeys, we can really start to be our own heroes, protagonists, and leap from chapter to interesting chapter. Keep up the incredibly work – YOUR unique gifts that help us all along. xo
Dear Lizzie: I just adore you. And, I love what you wrote: “we can really start to be our own heroes, protagonists and leap from chapter to interesting chapter.” Indeed. You do this very well. What a role model you are for your family, friends and those who never meet you, but experience your music and more. Keep sharing your gifts. Thank you for reading, commenting and being such a bright light in this community. Love, A