the kindness experiment

“Kindness is my religion.” — Dalai Lama

“I think you love me, I just don’t think you like me.”

I can still picture the look on my husband’s face as he vulnerably expressed those exact words to me in the spring of 2021. My heart sank. My throat and stomach clenched. I welled with tears—feeling sad, angry with myself, and worried all at the same time.

How could this person, my favorite person, feel this way? How did we get here? And what could I do about it now?

This is where my kindness experiment began.

“People often ask me what is the most effective technique for transforming their life. It is a little embarrassing that after years and years of research and experimentation, I have to say that the best answer is—just be a little kinder.” —Aldous Huxley

When people think about what they want to create in their lives, their first thought isn’t kindness.

Kindness isn’t grand. It’s not a car or a house. It’s not a status symbol. It can’t be bought or sold…and yet, it is IMMENSELY POWERFUL.

It is the reason humans have existed on this planet for six million years. We can’t survive without each other; thus, within every dark moment in our history (even now), kindness (on some level) emerged. People took care of one another.

The world today has become more polarized. Us vs. them is the theme. War and againstness are the results.

It’s easy to feel helpless and hopeless. What can one person do to effect great change?

I don’t know what the remedy is for healing on a global level—and I CAN’T HELP BUT BELIEVE THAT KINDNESS IS AT ITS CORE.

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.”
—Mother Teresa

True Kindness

I’m not talking about false kindness—the kind that is born from guilt, people-pleasing, politeness, and manipulation. I’m talking about True Kindness—an extension of your loving from your heart. This kindness is based on honesty, compassion, generosity, and respect (of self and others).

the experiment

Think of the person or area of your life where you are the most critical and harsh. Is it your spouse? A parent? Boss? Your body? Work? Yourself?

What if over the course of four weeks, you could transform that relationship and experience something lighter, more loving, and more beautiful—not only with the subject of the experiment but also with yourself?

That is the byproduct of kindness and the ripple effect of compassion. You cannot honestly apply it without reaping the benefits yourself.

KINDNESS IS A WAY OF BEING
 Kindness in your thoughts.
 Kindness in your words.
Kindness in your actions.

THESE ARE THE INTENTIONS FOR THIS PROGRAM:

get real

There’s a reason your thoughts/words/actions are the way they are. Maybe criticism was linked with loving when you were growing up. Maybe it was used as a motivational tool. Maybe it serves as a form of protection.

You will discover your flavor of unkindness—are you biting, defensive, righteous, passive-aggressive, neglectful, avoidant, and/or something else? You’ll also see the innocence of how/where these patterns began. This is why strangers often get the best of you, while those closest get the messy you.

REMOVE BLOCKS & HEAL MISUNDERSTANDINGS

When we see the reason our habits exist we often have more compassion for ourselves—and compassion, by itself, is a healing balm. The openness revealed in this process allows us to experience grace. We get to comfort, forgive and/or let go of the limiting beliefs and stories about the subject of the experiment or ourselves (or our parents, society, religion, etc.) so that we can see more clearly. We can meet ourselves and the subject empty and see them more for who they truly are.

NEW WAY OF SEEING

We do not see the world as it is. We see it as we are. We see the world and ourselves through a filter; thus, when we remove the ‘dust/dirt’ from our lens of perception we experience a new way of seeing.

How does someone else see the subject of your experiment? How do they describe them/it? How does Love see them/it?

A KINDNESS PRACTICE

Kindness is something we are born with—and it’s often something that diminishes over time through our upbringing and outside influences. The good news is that because kindness is who we are, we can remember and shift back into that place with practice.

If you’re someone who is particularly hard on yourself, developing a regular kindness practice that is unique to you will serve you.

And, in this program, you will not only have the benefit of creating a practice for yourself, but you will also have the joy of shining a kindness practice on the subject of your experiment too!

included in the course

The Power of Kindness

by Piero Ferrucci

This beautiful book accompanies our kindness journey and is required reading during the program. It will be sent to all participants.

the details

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Testimonials

  • Allison Wik

    Co-Founder, The Alchemy Group

    “The Kindness Experiment was Amber's way of creating an opening - an opening to make a brand new choice. And that choice was/is kindness. After reading Amber's personal and vulnerable story about her own exploration into the word 'kindness' I became clear that it was time for me to choose. It was time to create a new future in an important relationship in my life.

    The Kindness Experiment put me into real action on this relationship - I got on the court with my thoughts, my words and my actions towards this person. I started having brand new conversations, bringing brand new topics to my 1:1 coaching calls, and having a brand new inner experience. I began to experience more peace and neutrality. And this was all created by simply choosing kindness over judgment, choosing forgiveness over anger, choosing love over fear. I am grateful to Amber for leading the way!”

  • Mark Ratfelders

    Success Coach

    “The Kindness Experiment delivered everything I was hoping for and more. I worked with Amber previously in another program and was confident that her high level of professionalism and yes, fierce loving, would make this very important topic worth an immediate registration.

    I felt welcomed and part of an extraordinary group of people. The sessions each week gave me new insights and behaviors to experiment with. Those I continue to reap the rewards of weeks later! I find myself more present and loving with my family—and myself.”

  • Lauren Head

    Graphic Designer, Linear Creative

    “The Kindness Experiment was exactly what I needed to reconnect with myself and my world in a better way. It allowed me to shift into a softer lens of viewing people and events, which was something I needed more than I realized after the last couple of years. Through this course - and after - I have witnessed many mini-miracles by implementing the guidance provided, as I practice these learnings on a daily basis. Amber is a loving facilitator in this journey, providing thoughtful exercises and personal feedback.”

  • Laura Segal

    Writer & Coach

    “I came to The Kindness Experiment with a hunch that I’d be well-served by cultivating kindness toward my body after a lifetime of judging it. I was hoping for a few insights, maybe some tips and tricks - a little something that would bring me more equanimity.

    I received all of this and so much more. Through my own personal Kindness Experiment and with Amber’s compassionate, loving, wise guidance, I identified and transformed some core fears and misunderstandings that had been holding me hostage. I experienced a new sense of awe and reverence for how miraculous my (and every) body is. And I deepened my connection to my spiritual life and felt a sense of peace, trust and intimacy with the divine beyond anything I ever imagined possible.”