Ok, today’s post is for anyone who’s ever thought, “This again? I thought I resolved that. Healed that. Was done with that.”
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, I mean situations like this:
I thought I was over that guy / breakup.
I really thought I healed my issues with my body.
Wow. I can’t believe all my stuff around my dad is coming up again.
Working as a life coach, I see tons of clients have these kinds of realizations. And, what usually follows is a process of beating themselves up.
Today I’d like to stop that from happening by sharing with you – something I can’t believe I’m going to admit – I love popping pimples! It’s true. I always have. I guess I’ve had a lot of experience with them over the years. (Maybe I should be an esthetician?)
Anyway, before you think I’m coo coo crazy, here’s what poppin’ zits and personal development have in common:
They aren’t healed until you get to the root.
This may be a kinda gross example, but if you’ve ever had a zit that is super persistent and won’t go away, it’s because you haven’t released the puss pod. There’s a tiny, hard bulb at the base and it will keep appearing until you get that part out.
Unresolved issues are like that too. They will keep resurfacing until you get to the root.
Sometimes they trick us and really make us believe we are complete and then all of a sudden a year later when we are in a new circumstance, BAM the body or dad or ex stuff comes up. That’s actually a really good thing. It means you are getting closer to releasing the puss pod!
So, the next time you have that thought: “This again? I thought I was done with that!” Know, it’s a fantastic opportunity. It just means you aren’t quite finished. That’s all. It doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It doesn’t mean you don’t get it. It doesn’t mean you’ll be upset forever.
It just means you are human and there’s more work to do.
In the comments below share: How you’ve handled a recurring unresolved issue. What worked for you?
i have had old issues popping up left and right since moving in with my boyfriend 3 months ago; stuff that i thought i healed but he manages to bring them right out (unfortunetly for him) lol it’s to the point that i feel like i’m crazy at times. it messes with my self-esteem and has made me feel insecure as well. i thought i fixed all that and i often wonder if these will ruin my relationship. my ego has been very strong lately and want so badly to get back to feeling content with mysel, with a strong sense of “knowing” and the confidence to back it up. i dont know how i lost all that! GRRRR!
Courtenay Gueta says
That is the MOST disgusting analogy of pain and healing I have ever heard. You made your point well. As a therapist, I never tell people healing will be easy. I make sure when we meet to let them know if they do the work it will be messy and it will hurt BUT it is so worth it in the end. Love your stuff! I also left a comment on your interview with Monica Lee on Smart Creative Women.
Amber Krzys says
@laurie – Thank you so much for sharing. Sounds to me like your relationship is pushing you to grow – big time! You shared: ‘My ego has been very strong lately’ – that is a huge awareness. I’m wondering if there’s a way you can be ok with all the turmoil happening in your relationship and inside yourself right now. Moving into acceptance of what is is the best way to dissolve the issue – and usually the most difficult thing to do. Find some ways to really support yourself – quiet walks, time with girlfriends, journaling. And, remember to be as gentle as you can to yourself. Light your way. xo-A.
@Courtenay – I know. It’s a pretty disgusting analogy, but it does get the point across. Thank you for posting. Sounds like you have a really wonderful approach in working with your clients. I’m so glad you found us through Monica Lee. Isn’t she a doll? xo-A.
Hah I am laughing so hard because I seriously have a sick addiction to popping zits and I have been trying to think about why. I just don’t know of a better feeling than a good zit pop. Very similar to figuring out something about myself that I hadn’t realized before. Thank you for the reassurance that when stuff comes up it isn’t a bad thing. It just means there is more work to be done. That is surprisingly comforting. It always feels better to work through something, but sometimes it is very exhausting.