Are You "In" Your Life?
One of my former clients, let’s call her Jessica, made a bold move last week. She closed her Instagram and Facebook accounts. As a professional coach and speaker, this was a radical choice—especially in today’s day and age.
She realized she was spending more time in her online life, than her real life. Her world had become about her brand, growing her platform, always being on and sharing with her following. She wasn’t present and living in the moment because she was observing her life from behind the lens of her phone.
Jessica is not alone. Many coaches, speakers, and honestly, humans in general, no matter their profession, spend more time taking in the world through their mobile devices than experiencing it in the moment.
It’s easy to be seduced by the online world. I was in the beginning. When I started my business, I followed the advice of internet marketing guru’s. I poured my time and energy into posting to social media, blogging, creating funnels, perfecting optins, etc. I genuinely thought this was the way to make an impact.
I remember having a conversation with Michelle Bauman (one of my first coaches) in 2011 where she referred to the online world as superficial. I got so mad at her. What did she know about that world? She didn’t even have a website!
You know what she did have—a deep sense of joy, peace, presence, and enthusiasm…and money in her bank account. That was way more than I had!
She wasn’t distracted by the many shiny objects of the internet. This allowed her to deeply listen when she was with people and make a powerful impact in every conversation she had. She was “in” her life.
Fast forward two years of pouring my time, effort and energy into growing my business online…two years of feeling not good enough, always behind, constantly comparing myself, waiting for the big payoff to take care of my debt, I finally surrendered. I went back to Michelle, ready to grow myself and my business in a new way.
With her support, I reprioritized where I put my focus. I said no to the tasks that drained me (daily posts to social media) and said yes to the actions that filled me up (real conversations). Turns out joy, peace, presence and money followed for me too. Not only that, I got to spend more time “in” my real life.
I took ownership of how and where I spent my time. This is exactly what Jessica, my former client, did. She kept the actions she loved—her podcast and weekly video—and let go of the actions that depleted her.
Every action we take provides feedback. Sometimes that feedback is external, i.e, your bank account balance or adrenal fatigue. Sometimes that feedback is internal, i.e, feelings of overwhelm or anxiety. It’s important to listen and respond accordingly to this information. If your bank account isn’t reflecting your efforts, it’s time to adjust your plan. If your heart doesn’t light up when doing a Facebook live, stop. If your to do list is doing you, change it.
What actions are you regularly taking in your work (or life) that are draining you?
What actions are you regularly taking that are not producing the results you want?
What new action can you take instead?
This is a school for all types of coaches to grow themselves professionally. It includes specific how to’s for increasing your income, standing in the value of your services, knowing what to charge, where to get clients and more.
No matter your profession, I recommend carving out fifteen minutes today to answer the three questions above. Your answers—should you follow through on them—will lead you to greater fulfillment.
In the comments below, I invite you to share your learnings, or how you support yourself in being “in” your life.
In closing, I thought I’d come back to my experience of Michelle—the coach who transformed my world. Michelle passed away from cancer in 2015. Clearly, her choice to be “in” her life made a dramatic difference for her and her family. At her memorial service, I was in awe. There were 300+ people in attendance and many more viewing via Lifestream. Not bad for someone who didn’t have a website. What was even more profound was hearing story after story after story of how deeply Michelle touched people and helped them transform their lives. If that’s not making an impact, I don’t know what is.
With Fierce Loving,
Amber
