Rethinking Fees: Insights on Money and Worth
Photo by Courtney Lindberg
When you hear a coach say, “My fees are different now,” most people assume they've gone up. But what if that wasn't the case? What if those fees could actually be lower?
That's been my journey over the last several months.
If you've been following my writing, you know I've been in a process of undoing. (In case you missed it, you can catch up here: Are You Being Undone? and Open Heart Surgery). Old ways of being and unconscious conditioning have been surfacing, offering me the chance to realign more deeply with my truth.
For a decade, I've used The Prosperous Coach approach to build my business with great success. I love its intimate, relationship-based nature and the way it empowers coaches to create clients anytime, anywhere. However, I've come to see a misunderstanding lingering beneath the surface that implies that higher fees equate to better coaching and greater success; that somehow the ultimate goal is to get your first $50K, $75K, or $100K+ client. Many leaders in this approach say setting fees is personal, yet the perceived pressure to charge more often overshadows that truth.
I fell into that mindset without even realizing it! In 2018 I raised my fees to $50K a year, believing it would solidify my credibility as co-faculty at The CFJ Coaching Success School. At the time, I was unaware that my ego was in play, thinking higher fees would make me more “legitimate.”
Recently, I uncovered how much weight and meaning I placed on my fees. I believed that making more made me better; that I was a “good” coach when I charged high fees, had a full roster, and increased my income year after year. I had unconsciously tied my worth to my bank account. When I hit the marks, I felt great. But when I didn't, it was painful.
I now see how those conditions of being a “good” coach were limiting and arbitrary rules that kept me stuck in an illusion of success.
What if money has little to do with success? What if there's a whole, amazing, inspired world beyond a “good/bad” coach?
That's what I'm discovering—and I love it. I feel freer to create than I have in years. Work is so much more fun!
With that newfound freedom, I've given myself permission to lower my fees and packages to what feels aligned in my heart and the work I'm called to do today.
While higher fees tend to attract high achievers—which can be great—it also comes with its challenges. As a recovering high achiever myself, I understand this deeply. Over achievers tend to equate their value with how much they can produce, believing their worth and fulfillment are tied to external results. Doing becomes a badge of honor, and over time, this drive to achieve can morph into an unconscious addiction, masking the deeper healing available. Constantly striving for external wins and validation keeps us stuck in outsourcing our worth, often leading to greater levels of disappointment, blame, and resistance to letting go of the illusion of control.
Setting goals and pursuing achievements isn't bad—not at all! We are here to co-create and contribute; external results are a part of that. What's crucial is the motivation behind the goals. Are they coming from Inspiration or from unconscious conditioning?
Even more importantly, are you setting your goals from a place of already feeling worthy and fulfilled? If you are, you're free to play and enjoy the process, with the results becoming a bonus—not a reflection of your value.
A significant part of this journey has been gaining clarity around who I want to serve and how. Helping people understand the source of their human experience, so they can free themselves from suffering and live more in alignment with their truth, is what truly lights me up. Often, the problems we perceive on the goal-line naturally dissolve as we heal misunderstandings on the soul-line. This deeper healing work allows us to become even greater conduits for sharing our unique gifts and shining our light in the world.
Knowing who your heart feels called to work with plays a role in determining your fees. It's less about industry standards or expectations and more about the alignment between your experience, values, needs, and the work you're here to do. The truth is, many of us carry unconscious programming around money and worth. Until we see it, it silently drives our decisions.
I didn't see my own programming until I did. And when I did, it was both uncomfortable and freeing. I'm more in touch with the riches that money can't buy—and, that is priceless! Don't get me wrong; I still enjoy making money. My relationship with it is much more balanced now, with far less pressure.
In this space, I've found greater integrity, deeper connection to my work, and more play than I've felt in a long time.
If you've been pushing for higher fees but find that number doesn't feel fully aligned, it's okay to give yourself permission to change it. What matters most is setting a fee that feels right for you—not what the industry says or what others will think.
If this resonates with you and you're ready to experience the freedom that comes from knowing deeply that money doesn't equal worth—moving beyond the game of external validation and outsourcing your value to live a life more aligned with your truth—reply and let me know. A whole new world awaits you on the other side of this conversation, one that's richer in meaning, fulfillment, possibility, and even finances! It would be a joy to support you experiencing this.
With loving,
Amber
