Shattering an Old Identity
Three of my most recent individual clients (two coaches and one producer) all made their coaching investment of $30K back within the first two months of working together. This is not an uncommon occurrence. The producer had her Amazon series renewed for a second season. One coach made her investment back before our work even began, and the other made it back in one proposal to a prospective client.
Every single one of them felt highly uncomfortable investing $30K for six months of coaching; yet, they did it anyway. They didn’t rush to invest. They slowed down, faced their fears, and decided to bet on themselves. That choice was affirmed fairly quickly.
So what happened? How did the money come back to them with such speed?
That transformation unfolded in part because of the new skills/tools they were learning, their willingness to take action, and most importantly because they shattered an old identity. The moment they said yes to coaching there was an internal shift that got matched with external action (paying the fee—the grand gesture). Those combined actions created an immediate programming upgrade.
Who they had created themselves to be prior to that moment was no longer true. The stories of “I can’t afford it, I don’t deserve that level of success, that kind of money doesn’t come to me,” lost their foundation, resulting in a system upgrade.
Our brains aren’t all that different from the software we run on our computers. When we hold off on updating the new operating system the other programs on our computer get glitchy. The moment we install the new upgrade the system functions more smoothly—even while adjusting to some of the changes.
The same is true for us.
Steve Chandler says that the results in your life are perfect for the systems and structures you have in place.
What systems and structures do you have in place right now?
What do you believe is possible for you in your business? With your money? Health? Relationships?
Where is your limited conditioning holding firm to a story that isn’t true?
Who are you really—outside of the narratives you’ve attached to yourself?
Here are two examples of what I’m referring to:
A Hat vs. A Building
A new friend shared a story with me about what happened when she turned 40. She grew up in a family system where most of the women supported the household and didn’t work outside the home. She unconsciously continued that pattern into her adulthood. Her twin brother did the same; though his conditioning was the path of entrepreneurship/providing financially.
On their 40th birthday, she treated herself to a nice lunch and a new hat. When she called her brother to see how he was spending his day, he shared that he treated himself to buying a building. She bought a hat and he bought a building!
At that moment she saw her truth. She wanted more than what she was living and she met the cultural conditioning at play and made the decision to upgrade her programming. She’s now an incredibly successful entrepreneur in her own right.
Dry vs. Rain
This story is much less dramatic and it still highlights how to shatter an old identity.
I recently attended Byron Katie’s Nine Day School where a daily walk is part of the curriculum. I noticed that rain was forecasted during our time together. I thought: Surely we won’t walk on those days. I don’t walk in the rain. I don’t like being cold. I’ll get sick. Hello, old identity!
One morning the rain came and I kept my commitment to honor the school curriculum. I walked in the rain (grand gesture).
Guess what? I loved it! I felt like a kid again. I felt the cool droplets on my face and appreciated the way the water gave everything it touched a glimmer and shine.
Old identity shattered. New identity formed.
Sometimes the grand gesture of doing what we don’t like or are most afraid of is the medicine we need to live into our greater truth.
I’m guessing you’ve experienced your own version of shattering an old identity in the past. I invite you to reply and share that story with me. Sharing it can help remind you of who you’ve become.
It can also help you pull from your own life experience as you consider your next evolution. Where is life calling you to rise now? And what grand gesture (this can be big or small) can you take to meet that call?
With Fierce Loving,
Amber
