What are we so afraid of?
Today is a no BS kinda post. I’m gettin’ real and sharing what’s in my heart.
This week it’s: Perfection. We all at some point or another strive for it. Fight for it. Give every ounce of our being to be it and have it.
Below is a perfect (pun intended) example:
Ex. Heidi Montag’s choice for plastic surgery. (from People Magazine)
This simple misguided belief can run our lives. Even…ruin our lives.
Our society is obsessed with perfection. Being the perfect wife/husband. Mother/Father. Boss. Employee. Student. We want the perfect house. The perfect career. The perfect car. The perfect body and so much more.
And I can’t help but ask why? Where does this need come from? What are we so afraid of?
That is the question I keep coming back to this week. Why are we so afraid to make a mistake? To do something “wrong”. To appear normal. Or, heaven forbid, ordinary.
See, this need for perfection robes us of compassion. It robes us of living in the present moment. It deprives us of the gratitude and appreciation for all we have and are. It blocks us from knowing we are enough right now.
I think a large part of perfection has to do with society’s value structure. We live in a world that values productivity. The more you can produce, the more you have to offer. And, when/if you can’t produce anymore you are discarded. So, in order not to be discarded we fight to stay at the top. And, in order to stay at the top we have to do and be better than everyone else, which keeps us in a cycle of competition. And in the cycle of competition we feel disconnected and separate and fall into a mindset of lackful thinking, because there is only a finite amount of success, advancement, praise, joy, etc. This allows the pattern of not enoughness to continue to gain strength and run our lives.
I don’t know about you, but I’m ready for a change. I think inactivity is just as valuable as productivity. I think wisdom is just as important as success.
In my Master’s Degree Program at the University of Santa Monica they talk a lot about goal line versus ‘soul line’. Where success in the physical world is important, but not nearly as important as your soul’s growth and evolution.
Success in the physical world equals good grades, a nice car, a great career, making lots of money, having a big house—all those material, tangible things. Success on the ‘soul line’ involves healing, learning and growing in consciousness. It’s about becoming a more loving, compassionate, joyful person.
All those things on the goal line are great. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a nice car, house, husband/wife, clothes, jewelry, etc. I’m all for having all of that. But, I also know that those things by themselves can’t make me or anyone else happy or more loving or more complete. That comes from deep within.
Have you noticed that you are different now from the person you were five years ago. Your job may be the same. Your relationship may be the same. Your house may be the same. But, you are different. That is the deeper learning I’m referencing. The soul level learning.
We come into this life as babies needing constant care and attention and we exit this life in the same way. Currently we welcome the birth process and completely devalue the aging process. We disregard the elderly and all their wisdom because they can’t produce anymore. Because they are slower. Because they are “uglier”. And, ultimately, because we are afraid of becoming them.
The beauty and diet industry thrive on this. They have a field day with our denial and our fear. They continue to assist us in fighting reality. The fact that we all age and we all die.
This leads me to the answer to my question, ‘what are we so afraid of?’. I think we are afraid of dying. We’re afraid we will get to the end of our lives and discover we didn’t make an impact. We didn’t find our purpose and make our contribution to this planet.
We’re afraid because we don’t know what’s next. We don’t know what’s on the other side so we keep our blinders on and push for perfection and all the ‘luxuries’ of the physical world so we can be in denial that someday we will no longer plant our feet on the ground of this earth.
This may seem morbid to you and you may think I’m crazy and you may not agree. That’s fine with me. But, this is my space to share my voice – my thoughts and experience…and this week, this has been what’s on my heart.
I don’t want to be afraid of what’s next. That keeps me from finding and following my purpose/calling. That keeps me from living fully right now. I want to value and respect the elderly and the aging process. I want to honor my soul’s curriculum – what I’m here to learn. I want to enjoy, experience and have all the goal line luxuries plus the deeper meaning – the compassion, the forgiveness, the lessons in worth, unconditional loving and so much more.
I want to live fully. Open my heart and know I’m enough. And, I have a feeling you do too.
Because of these desires, I value inactivity as much as productivity. Inactivity = meditation, reflection, prayer, journaling, reading. These are moments when the deeper lessons + answers unfold. These are moments when I know and understand there is something greater than me out there. That we are all connected. That my life has meaning.
Today I encourage you to embrace more time in inactivity. To seek what’s beyond the bigger money and better body. I invite you to re-evaluate your value structure. Maybe then you’ll find room for “mistakes” and “mess-ups”. As well as a deeper appreciation for who YOU really are.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post. I hope it resonates with you and inspires you to live more fully and compassionately.
Love,
Amber