When Progress Looks Like Failure
Photo by Getty Images via Unsplash
I'm currently on a healing journey with my health—one I didn't anticipate and one that challenges everything I thought I knew about fitness and well-being. It's been quite the mental shake-up.
(Side note: I'm okay. Just working with some thyroid and hormone imbalances.)
At the end of 2023, I worked with a health coach who guided me through an intermittent fasting, calories-in/calories-out model. I ate one or two meals a day, restricted calories when needed, and used the scale as my primary metric of success. And it worked—for that season.
But as time passed, new symptoms surfaced, and further testing revealed deeper imbalances. That led me to an entirely new approach—a pro-metabolic way of eating, inspired by Dr. Ray Peat.
This method is radically different. Instead of restriction, I'm now fueling my body with what it truly needs—eating five to six times a day instead of one or two, shifting from intense exercise to a focus on de-stressing, and tracking macronutrients rather than just calories.
Beyond the logistical changes, the biggest challenge has been shifting how I measure progress.
In my old paradigm, the scale was everything. If the number went down, I was succeeding. If it went up, I was failing. That number alone dictated my next actions. It was the entire story. Now, the scale is just one small part of the picture—maybe 30% instead of 90%. I'm learning to see the bigger system at play: digestion, sleep, energy, mood, metabolism, and overall well-being. Even weight gain, which I once feared, can be a positive sign—indicating muscle growth, improved metabolic function, and a shift from stress-driven weight loss to true healing.
And my mind? It's struggling with this transition. The old paradigm of success is deeply ingrained, and the new one still feels a bit foreign.
What This Has to Do with Coaching
This shift mirrors what many coaches experience in their businesses. There tend to be two dominant models for building a coaching practice—the online marketing approach and The Prosperous Coach approach.
The marketing model encourages defining a niche, using social media, and scaling through content creation.
The Prosperous Coach model focuses on building deep relationships and enrolling clients through direct conversations.
Each has its place. Just like intermittent fasting worked for a time before my body needed something new, one approach to business may serve you at one point, and another may serve you later. The key is to commit fully to whatever experiment you're running.
I resisted my new approach to health for about a month before I finally went all in. That's when I started to see progress—because I had to redefine what progress meant and expand my understanding of it.
The Metrics of Success
Most coaches have a narrow view of success. Money is often the primary metric, just like weight once was for me. If money is coming in, things are working. If it's not, panic sets in.
But money—like weight—is fluid. It ebbs and flows. It's energy. Like water, sometimes it flows in, sometimes it flows out.
Our actions have an input, no question. But ultimately, we can't control when money comes into our account or when our body loses weight. This is because there is a higher Intelligence at play.
It's so easy to think that we are the ones bringing in the money into our bank accounts. That our actions alone determine our success—but that can't be the case. Not totally.
You can't make someone say yes to working with you, so there will be seasons when you're taking action and doing everything “right” and still, no money is flowing in. Just like there will be seasons when you're taking less direct action and referrals flow in.
So what if, instead of focusing solely on money, you zoomed out and looked at the whole health of your business?
Think about it:
The health of my body includes food, sleep, stress levels, digestion, energy, weight, and more.
The health of your business includes relationships, enrollment conversations, marketing, creativity, skill-building, serving clients, accounting, and your own self-care and well-being.
When you zoom out, there's more room to play—aka make mistakes. This is because the system as a whole is more resilient than the small, zoomed-in metric of money alone.
When you take in the whole health of your business, you start to see that everything is progress. A “no” can actually be progress. A day of rest can be progress. Even less income and debt can be progress. (Really!)
The primitive brain craves dopamine hits. It loves short-term wins—like a deposit landing in your account. But if we attach our self-worth to money, we risk making it the only thing that matters. And when money slows down (as it inevitably will at times), we suffer.
So here's my invitation to you: zoom out.
Instead of chasing “more, more, more” as the only indicator of success, take a step back and see the whole picture. What if you measured progress by how deeply you're serving, how aligned you feel, how your skills are growing, how your creativity is expanding, or even how much rest you're allowing?
Because when you widen the lens, you realize—you're always moving forward.
Cheers to seeing success in every part of the journey!
With loving,
Amber
