On January 8th, my boyfriend, Vince, was rushed to the ER for emergency surgery—complications from a routine procedure he had on the 3rd. Without going into a lot of detail, he had a perforation in his intestine causing bile to leak into his abdominal cavity. This is serious business—it’s life-threatening, and the recovery is quite involved.
I’m not gonna lie, it was an intense and scary ten days—where I became an almost permanent fixture in his hospital room. The good news is that we’re home now, and Vince has begun the slow process of healing.
I’ve learned so much during this experience. I’m still learning from it. I’m sure I’ll be sharing more in the coming weeks. For today, I want to focus on one seemingly small part:
“This or something better for the highest good of all concerned.”
I first heard this saying during my master’s program at the University of Santa Monica. Intellectually I understood it, but it was foreign in experience. The idea here is that as we set our intentions or vision for what we want to create in our lives, it’s good to allow space for Grace/God/Spirit/Life (whatever you want to call it) to do it’s thing.
I did not intend to start 2017 in the hospital. I wanted to hit the ground running, create a podcast, spend time in new communities, get back to pilates…and that wasn’t what Life had in store.
Sometimes “something better” doesn’t feel better. Sometimes it’s painful and challenging—as in my case (or even our country’s case at the moment). Yet, I believe without a doubt, that something better is on the way…
It already is. Vince and I are closer, more connected, and more in love than ever. He, a very private man, is now more vulnerable with me and others, out of necessity. And, I am deepening in my experience of real love, generosity and care.
This must be for our highest good or it wouldn’t be happening. This simple truth helps me come into greater acceptance, peace and surrender.
Sure, I could fight reality. I could wish things were different. I spent a lot of time doing that—still do on occasion (hello politics)—but that only produces suffering. Reminding myself that I’m not alone, that Life has an intelligence and knows more than me, brings me comfort.
I don’t know why things happen the way they do. I trust, however, that good will follow—that through each experience we will return to love.
With Fierce Loving,
Amber
Thank you for this share today Amber, your ability with words is always touching!
Dear Shannon: What kind words. Thank you. I appreciate you being a part of this community. Love, A
Dear Amber,
Thank you so much for sharing. Sending you and Vince so much love and grace. Yes, I completely agree and see that often. The challenges are all necessary stepping stones to that “something better” that we can’t possibly imagine in our limited scope.
Dear Sasha: I appreciate your love and grace. And awesome about your own choice to see all as a stepping stone for “something better”. Love, A
Sending love, light, and healing to both you and Vince. Beautiful Word Amber, thank you for sharing.
Dear Jamie: What a treat to see you here. Thank you for your love, light and kindness. I’m sending some right back to you too. Love, A
I’m so happy to hear this experience brought you and Vince closer than ever. I’m inspired by your ability to see the blessings in all of it so soon after it unfolded.
I especially love this reminder you shared: Sometimes “something better” doesn’t feel better.
So powerful and important — thank you, Amber!
Sending you both lots of love,
Megan
Dear Megan: Oh good. I’m so glad you’re inspired by this reminder. Seems very fitting timing for you too! Love, A
Thank you for this brilliant quote, “This or something better for the highest good of all concerned.”
I’m sorry you and Vince had to endure such a scary and painful experience. Having just been through my husband’s cancer, and the loss of his identical twin from cancer, I understand how these situations brings us so much closer to the men we love.
I’m sending love, light, and healing energy to you and Vince as you heal and continue on your journey of love.
Hugs,
Christie
Dear Christie: Love your heart. I knew you and Mark were going through challenges last year. I’m sorry to hear about the loss of his brother. I can’t even imagine all of that at once. Thank you for sharing your loving energy and inspiring story. I’m glad you and Mark used this experience to bring you closer together. That’s my plan with Vince too. Love, A
Hi Amber,
Wow, what an experience! I’m wishing you grace and serenity and a speedy recovery for Vince. Sending light and love!
Xoxo,
Lisa
Dear Lisa: Thank you so much. Receiving your grace, serenity and speedy recovery for Vince. Love, A