I’m currently taking an online style class! What? Yes, it’s true. I have complete and utter insecurity when it comes to fashion. I don’t trust my ability to shop alone, coordinate outfits or stretch beyond my jeans and t-shirt way of life. So, I decided to get some help from the brilliant, talented and super fun, Hilary Rushford.
This course has been really eye-opening for me (on so many levels). The biggest awareness I had in the beginning was how my desire to be perfect was interfering with my ability to fully participate.
In the past I have been one of those over-achieving, type A people who must be the best right from the get-go. I forgot how much that programming is ingrained in me. So, when I got my first style assignment and was instructed to take a self-photo and post it in our private group for feedback, I panicked!
What is everyone going to think of me?
What if the outfit I pick doesn’t work well together?
What if it isn’t good enough?
What if it isn’t perfect???
BTW: The entire reason I took this class is so I could get better and gain more confidence at something I don’t feel I’ve mastered. So, how could I possibly be perfect at it right from the start?
A very logical point. And one that took me a few days and a bit of courage to realize.
So, I decided to do the assignment, but I wasn’t sure I was going to post any photos. I mean, seriously, be that vulnerable and put my weakness out there to be judged?! I don’t think so.
After about two days of living in fear and waiting to see if anyone else was going to be the first to post their pictures, I realized I wasn’t going to get any feedback from Hilary if I didn’t share them. Which is the entire point of me taking the program! So, I swallowed my fear and at the very last minute, right before Hilary’s office hours began, I clicked post.
Super GULP! I was the first person to share my photos from the assignment.
What if everyone else was far more advanced?
What is they thought my clothes were lame?
“What if? What if? What if?” quickly turned into “WHO CARES?!” Followed by a letting go.
I did it. I put myself out there and asked for help. And that was enough.
Turns out, the other ladies in the group, as well as Hilary, were super supportive and started sharing their own pics too. We all took the leap together and somehow managed to find in the net.
Here’s pic of me playing in my closet:
Which, I’m happy to say, I’m actually really enjoying. I feel like a little girl who loves to play dress up. Never in a million years did I think that would be me, and I’m so grateful it is.
I share this story with you today because I know I’m not alone. I know a lot of you aren’t participating in life because you are afraid you won’t be perfect. You are afraid you’ll be judged. You’re afraid you won’t be good enough.
The thing is, holding back and letting the fear ‘win’ only creates more fear and causes you to live smaller and smaller. Take a step forward today by sharing with me in the comments below something you’ve wanted to do, but have let your fear of not being good enough hold you back.
Maybe you’ve been afraid to wear your skinny jeans. Maybe you’ve been afraid to try that belly dancing class or go horseback riding. Maybe you’ve been afraid to set up your profile on that online dating site.
There are so many ways we block ourselves from living. See if simply sharing it in the comments causes you to feel a little relief from the grip of the fear. Maybe that will be enough to get you to take the next action. And that, the next action.