I don’t know of a coach, or human for that matter, who doesn’t drop into comparison from time to time.
We’ve all heard the quote by Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” which is true…and, it’s something more—something useful. It’s a mighty teacher.
One of the greatest and most powerful lessons of my life was learned through comparison. To this day, I am different in the best of ways because of it.
In the 4-minute video below I share what that lesson was and how I used (and still use) comparison for me, rather than against me.
Press play below to watch.
Afterwards, in the comments tell me what you’re committed to creating? How is comparison serving you now? Who is it helping you become?
I can’t to see what you’re discovering through comparison.
With Fierce Loving,
PS: My coach, Carolyn Freyer-Jones, and I are leading a webinar devoted to creating your 2020—and making it your best year yet. To sign up, click here.
Melissa Ward says
Afterwards, in the comments tell me what you’re committed to creating?
I am committed to creating 2020 as a year of authentic expansion as I continue to walk on the pathway of loving and trust.
Moving beyond my habitual responses of fear, doubt and insecurity which can bring forward moments of comparison and giving up on myself – I choose to be thankful and appreciate the limited story and turn it around as an opportunity of growth and expansion.
How is comparison serving you now?
The way comparison is serving me now is that it allows for greater self-discovery. Comparison allows for greater ways for me to love and support myself as I choose to be courageous and expand beyond my limited stories of not enough. Comparison serves me in seeing that there are other possibilities in terms of expression, connecting with others, sharing my wisdom, being of service, making money, being a coach that I may not of thought of or given myself permission to do, be or say…When I become aware of those times I am in comparison – I have a choice to acknowledge the strength/value in the one before me and see how that (attitude) could support me in my expansion and growth.
Who is it helping you become?
When I use comparison as a tool – it helps me become a better me!
When I use comparison as a tool – it helps me move forward and take another step towards a desired result…
When I use comparison as a tool – it supports me as I take the step(s) towards living the dream in my heart.
Years ago at one of the first Tony Robbins fire walking event – I chose to walk after I watched a man in the group that I judged as a coward walk over the coals…”if he can do it, I can do it” YahOOOO! That experience showed me the power of my thoughts , and how I create my reality.
Becoming a better card player – Growing up in my family we did other family activates (playing cards was not one of them). As an adult when I would go on vacation many of my friends would play cards –‘ SHAME appeared as I was usually the loser that no one wanted to play partners with… so instead of running away and not wanting to play I asked the person who I thought was the greatest card player to play with me and teach me the techniques of how to think cards. Over time I learned … Now I’m a great card player and invited to play partners with many of the other great card players!
Writing and submitting my Practical Treatise for Doctor of Spiritual Science degree expected graduate 6/2020.
Leaning in to starting a coaching practice! Yes I can.
Thank you for these questions Amber!
Dear Melissa: This is extraordinary, as are YOU. I acknowledge you for being with each of these questions and seeing how comparison has served you and is serving you. YES to you letting go of the old, out-dated stories—and living more of the truth of Who You Are. I can’t wait to see you fly in the coaching school. You’ve already taken off in big, bold ways! With loving, Amber
In 2020, What am I committed to creating?
I want to create self loving actions that are consistent. I also am committed to creating a positive mindset that serve me when times get rough. I tend to go into the negative/low self esteem route anytime I have a perceived rejection or setback and I’d like to have supportive thoughts that serve me. I also want to create a practice that keeps me in the present and let go of ways I think my life “should be at this age”. Let go, accept and love my life.
How is comparison serving you now? Who is it helping you become?
Currently, comparison can be self limiting for me because I will allow my ego to take over and compare myself as ‘less than’ someone else. Comparison has in the past and sometimes now, been a positive force when I see what others create and what possibilities are out there. That is why I love this blog- a different perspective for me can be “If He/She can do it, I can do it too!” rather than using comparison as an egoistic tool to beat myself down. I am excited to see what this new perspective can help me become!
Thank you Amber for your wise words!
Dear Mondana: I love what you’re committed to creating. And, I have a feeling comparison is helping you create that—in it’s own weird way. I fully support you in testing out this new way to relate to comparison. If he/she can do it, so can I!! Love, A