Better out than in
On a recent hike with my husband I realized I’ve had a low grade anxiety running in the background of my mind and heart. It wasn’t loud or forceful. It was subtle—like a constant hum of worry for the future.
I’ve never lived in a time where one of the rights that I’ve been accustomed to since birth will likely be taken away. Grappling with the impact of this (for all women and humankind), as well as what could expand into more rights being revoked, feels big and scary.
I don’t know what to do. I feel helpless, hopeless and sad. Who have we become as a nation? Where are our Heart-Centered, Love-Inspired Leaders? When will we learn that external power and control are illusions that don’t bring true fulfillment? When will we see that there is no you or me, there is only we?
These are some of the makings of the low grade hum.
What I’ve learned about my feelings is that they have a point. They show up for me to see something, and my job is to courageously meet them.
There are lots of ways to do this: Writing uncensored and shredding or burning the pages afterwards, safely punching pillows on your bed or curling up and crying, making art, moving your body and more.
Music is my favorite way to connect with and release my feelings. When I allow myself space to deeply listen I become one with the notes. My body takes over—moving wildly, strangely, quickly, softly, contorting, crying, screaming or anything it wants. This expression frees me and restores me.
Through letting out the feelings fully I tap into the Wisdom and Loving waiting underneath.
In the case above, I met my anger. I danced her voice.
Underneath I heard:
This is a time where we have to become the leaders we want to see. We can’t wait for Martin Luther King, Jr. or Gandhi or Mother Teresa to rise and save us. We can learn from and be inspired by their example. (I am currently reading Strength to Love by Martin Luther King, Jr. His courage and willingness to be led by love during the Civil Rights movement highlights a path for us now.)
We can look for leaders who have more experience on the topic and embody the change we want to see—and, we must do our part.
This is about breaking conditioning. It’s about turning inward and meeting the places within ourselves that are afraid, judgmental, power hungry, hypocritical, racist, out of integrity and more. Dissolving these walls within makes it easier to build a bridge “out there”, and also hear the voice of Wisdom “in here”. That voice is powerful and has answers.
My Wisdom said:
Make Love and Forgiveness a daily practice. Speak your voice. Make your art. Vote. Donate. Call your legislators. Use your privilege in service to minorities. Listen—especially to family/friends with opposing views. (I don’t like this one.) Continue to release your feelings and ask for Spirit’s assistance.
These I am willing to do.
If you’re feeling all the feelings right now, I invite you to turn towards them and see what’s waiting underneath. Your Wisdom is there. Give it space to reveal itself—and see what unfolds from there.
With Fierce Loving,
Amber
ps: If music is your jam and you want some inspiration for letting out your feelings, here are two of my favorite playlists: Releasing Anger and Being with Sadness. NOTE: These contain explicit language. Be mindful when playing.
Photo by Ahmad Odeh.