NYE in the ER: A Story of Surrender
Caption: Two different experiences, each offering its own richness. The human experience is about fully embracing all of it—the pain and the joy—discovering growth, wisdom, and beauty in each moment.
2024 was one of the most unexpected, humbling, and liberating years of my life. It feels fitting that the theme carried through right up until the very end.
In the final two days of the year, our dog, Matzah, had two growths removed; I faced unexpected complications from a medical procedure; and my father-in-law passed away.
Sometimes, ringing in the new year is full of celebration and joy. Other times, it's not.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd spend New Year's Eve in the emergency room—but that's exactly where I found myself.
(A heads-up: the next part might be a little TMI, but it's important to the story.)
Thanks to a scheduling mix-up at my doctor's office, I closed the last day of the year with a colonoscopy. Lucky me! This was my second procedure, as the first revealed large, flat polyps that required a specialized removal technique.
(Quick PSA: If you're 45 or older and haven't scheduled a colonoscopy, please make the call. I'm healthy, with no family history of colon issues, and what they found could've become much worse if left untreated.)
Since this was my second colonoscopy, I expected it to mirror the first—feeling like my usual self within hours. Heck, I even made fancy NYE dinner plans!
However, that wasn't the case. Soon after returning home, I found myself doubled over, crying in pain, and after several hours without relief, I decided to go to the ER.
As I sat waiting for hours, I found myself surrendering to waves of physical pain and fear.
My mind was busy, spinning stories and conjuring vivid images. It told me this New Year's Eve was ruined, that I was weak and dramatic for going to the ER, and that I was failing as a wife by keeping my husband from handling his dad's arrangements. I saw flashes of worst-case scenarios—more surgeries, permanent medical devices, even my own death.
The mind is incredibly skilled at creating stories and scenarios. That's its job. And every time I got caught up, I allowed it. I noticed the thoughts, let the sensations move through my body, and released them—again and again.
I kept coming back to the now; for the now is where peace lives.
Did I like being in the ER? No. Was it my preference to be somewhere else? Yes. But the more I fought what was, the more I suffered. This is why surrendering to what is—even pain—is so powerful and liberating. In each moment of acceptance, my system settled and I found relief.
The good news? No further surgeries were needed—just time, space, and rest for my body to heal. And so, I'm entering 2025 slower than planned.
I see the divinity in that.
The start of the year often comes with an onslaught of messages about doing: resolutions, goals, plans—all inviting us to ask, “What do I want to create this year?”
But here's what I've come to understand: the answer to that question depends entirely on who the 'I' is that's answering it.
Elise Loehnen, author of On Our Best Behavior, shared this in her recent newsletter:
“'Resolution,' as we've come to know it, has largely taken on the meaning of 'determination' or 'purpose.' But the etymology of the word is much softer: its Latin root is resolvere, meaning to loosen, release, unbind. Yes, that's right. Instead of battening down the hatches and hitting harder at our goals, we're supposed to use the New Year as an opportunity to let it go.”
So, instead of imposing my will or my ego's idea of what I should create in 2025, I'm letting go. I'm surrendering to the healing, pain, joy, and peace of this moment—this now.
Life is intelligent. It knows what we need and how to provide it, often in surprising ways. It also understands our gifts and talents, guiding us to where and how we can best contribute—and grow. The more we release our conditioned need to know and control, the easier it becomes to receive Life's guidance.
This isn't passive—it's active, open, and ready.
If you're curious about discovering the riches of slowing down, surrendering to the now, and creating a beautiful life from this place, I invite you to join me for my upcoming workshop:
Reclaiming Your Truth: A Different Kind of Goal-Setting Workshop
This two-day event will move you beyond your mind and into your heart and body, where you can become a wide receiver for Life's guidance. Together, we'll explore what Life wants to create through you in 2025.
Because it's been a while since I shared about this program, I'm extending the early-bird rate through Friday, January 10, 2025.
Learn more about Reclaiming Your Truth here.
The world is crying out for us to live differently—not from a place of control and achieving, but from spaciousness, trust, and a deep connection to our Truth.
When we meet ourselves there, we realize that safety and worthiness aren't things to pursue or prove. They've always been within us, waiting to be recognized.
If this resonates, I'd love for you to join me in discovering what's possible in 2025.
With loving,
Amber
P.S. Matzah is recovering beautifully and enjoying long naps beside me on the couch. I'm taking it easy, watching episodes of Madam Secretary and savoring chapters from Richard Christiansen's The Guide to Becoming Alive—one of my favorite finds from 2024. My husband—who seems to have the most magical ability to adapt and flow with the present—has traveled to honor his father's wishes and handle the next steps with his usual grace and care.
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